The movie, Her

I finished the movie feeling like I’d spent the evening in thrall with an amazing woman. And then we broke up! That’s how watching the movie, Her might make you feel. 

Joaquin Phoenix is Theodore, a sensitive and talented personal letter writer who walks through the haze of melancholy music, video games and distractions to battle loneliness. He’s not pitiful, I think. He’s reluctantly facing divorce from his wife and it's dealt him a debilitating blow. He purchases an advanced operating system which is an intuitive entity with the charming voice of Scarlett Johansson. The OS calls “herself” Samantha. Very quickly, Theodore and Samantha develop feelings for each other. It is a bizarre relationship. It is brow raising. I'm overlooking any vulgarity to isolate on the thing that consumed me throughout the film. 

I’m not meaning to do movie reviews— if I do them, I’m not in it to prove what’s good or what isn’t. But Her has such an emotional and honest profundity that I find it overshadows the themes. I care about themes. I had a hard time finding the words. I was heart sick. But not in a sad way.  

Actress Samantha Morton
played the O.S. before being
replaced by Johansson.

I scanned some of the reviews and of course, I saw mention of the idealization of women and the obsession with technology. I also caught some pretty nasty hate comments about how people who like this movie are “… pretentious pseudo intellectuals..." and worse. But unabashedly, I say the relationship between these two characters was the height of what love could sound like without resistance from the flesh. It was giving without fear of disapproval. There were no mind games, no manipulation and no milking of the ego. This story inadvertently tapped into what love may sound like at least at an imperfect, but human peak. I mean it’s as close to what love ought to look like. Samantha’s love was utterly selfless, if not naïve. By saying that, I know I’ve already infected it with an insecurity. But I need to say that because her character was not altogether human. Obviously naïve, no matter how intelligent or how much knowledge Samantha could accumulate in her programming she can never know what it’s like to have a human soul or be a physical woman. There are movies that make you pause. You got to catch your breath and sit for 45 minutes. This is the one that did it for me. What makes this movie such a find is the exquisite intimacy between Theodore and Samantha. I'm not talking about sex. Is it embarrassing to openly discuss that everyone has experienced that perfectly intoxicating sense of love and acceptance from the opposite sex? I thought about that and it shouldn’t be. There was a pure and completely loving acceptance of Theodore. It was in her words. There was no judgment. No pretense. Even when she was leaving him, it was completely compassionate. I think someone ought to say what so many people are afraid to say aloud. That deep, deep down every single breathing soul yearns for that kind of love—the thing that Theodore was looking for when he wanted to have sex with Emily to fill that "small hole" in himself. There are men and women who don't experience intimacy at all anymore for whatever reason. That is a horror. So I won't mince words here, when obviously ultimate fulfillment can only come from God. But you can’t duplicate what the actors created; it astounds me what they did. Something that is so hard to create between people in everyday life: genuine intimacy and rapport. Actress Samantha Morton originally played the role of the A.I., but director Spike Jonze decided to replace her with Johansson. You can't fake rapport. These two actors, they had it. People still go to watch theater to experience that kind of intimacy between characters, which is something I think the theater has lost. If Her were a stage play, I’d probably see it two more times. It’s perfect for the stage. That is the potential of what true theater can be. Without egos and the ability to be vulnerable with some excellent, heartfelt writing to boot. This script is a masterpiece and it won an Oscar for best screenplay. I love this performance by Johansson more than I like her as Black Widow.

Here is a short scene:

I confess I want to love like that. At all times. I'm still not talking about sex. What a glorious way to live and what honor it brings to God. Words have tremendous power. Too often I see the careless way we destroy with our mouths when we can build each other up with deliberate inclination.

While Samantha grows in her programming, Theodore has stopped growing. The reality is that at some point, Theodore would’ve wanted a real life relationship with a woman. It was inevitable. But isn’t that what we do? We settle. We camp out in a hole. Because we don’t think it could possibly get any better than this and we don’t want to hurt anymore and we don't want to hurt the other person. Who can deny the longing? Everyone has felt it and it’s there underneath all of the emotional scars and information overload. However trite it sounds, there is no more wonderful thing than having the close love and companionship of someone who loves you so without reservation.

One of the best lines in the whole movie.